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User blog:SamuraiSanada5628/My version of East vs West Philosophers- Plato
This is my version of lyrics (a mixture of original, scrapped, and new lyrics) for East vs West Philosophers. It's mostly ERB's line tho... This is the most ideal style that I could think of (IMO), coz I wanted Plato and Aristotle so much >:( I'm just doing this for fun. Feel free to comment below! Thanks!! :DD EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY. Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius. VS Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle! BEGIN! 'The Western Philosophers:' I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium! I hardly know these Chinese men. What does it all mean? It means the fate of these Asians is about to be seen! We got the logical means to philosophically dominate your rhetoric And get it boiled down to its essentials till it's evident! You've never been our type of mental bretheren! We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! 'The Eastern Philosophers:' This type of arrogance is sure to be expected from men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is. A journey of rapping begins with a first diss, But you failed from the start, it's like you rushed for a piss. While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration, Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations! We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living, And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written! 'The Western Philosophers:' Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu! You took your cow and hid away, alone with no buddies. While I wandered and observed, and invented all studies! And I'm his teacher. Well, confronting sophists like you is my job! Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab! You force submission, you sit on your people because of the fact that you're old! Come to my school! I shall teach your rotten aged mind to be tolerant, wise, and bold! Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan! Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man! Tell me, why the fuck do you act like a philosopher? You kill women to threaten men, mister! You're not familiar in this kind of battlefield, so avoid us or surrender! 'The Eastern Philosophers:' Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, you're the one who's going under! My triumph brought us peace, while Athenians lost to Sparta! My commands are quick and sure, unlike your god Mars! Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars! Yo, we've got the flow; it's the Kong-Lao duo! I'mma throw away my Li, Plato! You failed to teach a young Aristocrat, but instead just triggered a coup d etat! And you did science with flaws, so vain. Are the stars still spinning around your brain? Your believers sent Galileo to death, I feel deja vu; it's your teacher's fate! But it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates! Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology! 'The Western Philosophers:' I'm not exactly involved in that death of Socrates. Here's the truth, you're no matter; just some form of yellow monkeys! I'm A-R-I-S-T-O-T-L-E! And I can summon Alexander who will beat and enslave all you three! You think the chiefly valued is to get some violent kick? Fucking racist, better know thyself and suck Sock's dick! Master's right, that's too tight! And your thoughts are useless here! Now let's burn these Chinese hynies with some longing for idea! Why on earth should I be guided by such an airheaded theory? I've had better persuasion when Xanthippe emptied a pot over me! Pardon, papa? If it weren't for me, you'd never be remembered! With two platoons I'll shut you up! The philosopher king is offended! 'The Eastern Philosophers:' I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity! Let it be. A bowl is most useful when it is empty. (Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense! Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way! Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written that two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place. Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that? Well I hate the warring period, you to-go box hat! So obey the golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies. Confucius say: you can all hold these fortune cookies! WHAT IS WINNING? WHO IS NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC...QUIEEEEEET!!! RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY. Category:Blog posts